Hello everyone!
How’s everyone doing? I know that I haven’t done any updates since the Easter season. I am sorry about that. I just caught up in a lot of things and events in my life that my writing momentum got halt. I almost tend to lose my passion in writing but I told to myself it’s about time to get it back this Christmas and to commit again myself on my Christmas blogs instead of Christmas Vlogs.
Anywho, this year was a tremendous challenge for me in a different aspect of life. I was financially challenged, but despite that, I am financially challenged, he still provided me with things that I need. That challenge made me learn how to tighten my belt and to just be contented on what I have on hand. A lot of challenges came in the past months but those challenges gave me lessons and ponderings in life. Not all the time you will have a good life with money. Money really can’t buy happiness. As I continue pondering about my finances; darkness overshadowed my faith journey. That darkness was something that I cannot imagine that I have to really fight back together with my spiritual director. I am so thankful that I have an amazing guide to pray with me and guide me on how to rise above this darkness.
Way too many learnings in the past months that made me strong as a person and as a woman in faith. As I keep this faith that I have, blessing pours down. Blessings that far beyond that I cannot contain in one hand or in a basket. Currently working in a hospital full time with benefits; gain a good guy friend that I can count in from time to time and other good friends that I can count in from time to time.
Despite these blessings and as I work in the hospital setting (Still on my industry), I gained unwanted stress and in addition of this; seeing some veterans/elders and mentally challenged people being wheeled where I take my break. As this two occurs in my current situation; Christmas became an ordinary day for me. I was like in distraught in feeling the season like Christmas is dead to me. Seeing people on their ugly sweater, elves costumes, and other Christmas paraphernalia that I can see still I cannot feel the reason.
Reckoning the 3rd Sunday of Advent homily; the homilist gave a good question to ponder on and that was so appropriate for the season. The homilist threw this question “What makes you joyful this season?” It was a good thing to reckon on but like what I have said I cannot feel the essence of Christmas. When I met my spiritual director; and ask him how to cure this feeling and he told me “There is no cure for that. it’s normal even us priests feel that ordinary feeling. Like we are just doing our regular routine. Better offer that feeling up to God and to other people.”
When that short statement got my soul to reckon on things in life; and commenced again my duty at the hospital I keep on seeing these elders being wheeled either on their wheelchair or deathbed. As I see them; I started reckoning about my Memento Mori journey. I may not have a proper journal for that; but it’s been a year that I am reckoning deeds that I have done in my life.
Death is one of the hardest parts that a human can face here on earth. Most of us have a phobia to talk about death and/or face death. Death here on earth is one of the most unwanted cursed that God gave to Adam and Eve when they disobey God’s command to them not to eat the tree of knowledge. I know some of you will say it is science or I am being ridiculous to talk this thing about. I am not a crazy person to talk about this. I know that I am going to die and I will be back in to dust. Reckoning death is a beautiful thing to do. Instead of being stuck in pondering how I can get rich in this world; start pondering on things where how I can use that richness to a deed that can leave a legacy to other people.
Better live a legacy than living material things that you cannot bring to your second life. Memento Mori is such a heavy yet amazing words to ponder on. I know it will be a scary situation but always ask yourself “In what way I can tell God that here is my accomplishment during my life time?” God won’t look in your educational attainment, job experiences, your wealth or any sort of material things that you have again. All he cares is your legacy that you left here on earth. Small deeds can live a mark to other people. Living an unwanted mark to other people will just remember your unruliness or will just forget you. I am not a perfect person no one is perfect but striving to be the best person that you can be and the best version of myself can start a great mark to other people.
Pondering on what my spiritual director said to me and seeing this old people being wheeled on their death bed; I did offer this feeling to them. I know most of them to celebrate their Christmas inside the hospital trying to survive on their wee lives and hoping and praying to God that they can see their grandchildren and/or the whole family before they face our creator. For me, it’s hard to see them on their deathbed but better not to be attached with them. Like, let them fully rest because they have already lived their lives.
Despite it is Christmas and Jesus are the reason to celebrate this yuletide season; don’t forget that we have to prepare ourselves for his second coming or facing him if he called us early to be with him. In addition to what my spiritual director told me; there was a song from Trans-Siberia Orchestra made me also think the essence of Christmas.
Life is really a playful and colourful experience. We may face loads of things but don’t forget that beyond these wonderful experiences; we need to come to an end. We always need to get ready and strive to live to be as pure as we can be.
May you have a Blessed Christmas and the blessing of our good Lord be with you always and I will all keep you in prayers and please keep praying for me. Please include to your prayers our clergy and the church that they may continue to nourish our faith and may God continue to nourish them as they do their ministry.
Until here then
Ad Iesum Per Miriam
