Bitter Sweet Pie

It's almost midnight and my mind bombarded with loads of unwanted thoughts in this manner. Honestly once again I really don't know what should I write but somethings bothering me still. I know you might thinking this maybe connected to "What's up Ketchup" entry. I should say partly yes and partly no. I am honestly overthinking again and again. I should say I should stop this nonsense thinking and get through this writing.

I will get this thing straight to the point somethings you thought that everything is fine and you are happy walking with your lonesome journey; but because of your overthinking and I should say a little bit of hang up everything will kind a back into place. Honestly I kind a blame myself trusting other people whom do you not know for ages. It's painful because you put your trust way too much and in the end it will backfire to you. Honestly because of this happening; I learn loads of things. First thing you have to know a person for ages; why? because this way you will really know if he/she is real to you. Honestly, I should agree with those people who I have talk to that I have to screen people and I have to vigilant at all cost because people can play to be a nice person but in the end they are destroying your innocence and dignity.

Honestly, deep inside of this happy mask that I am wearing, when you remove it; it's full of scars, battle wounds and brokenness deep side. I admit that I am not a perfect person but as I walk wit this journey I know that I have someone who is guiding me and lifting me up. I should say I am happy where I am right now; but sometimes, pain and disappointments knock my head and put me into a situation where I can't smile any longer. Honestly, no one is a victim here I am not playing a victim here but I am telling you this look for a great friend that you can trust. Take time to know the person.

Another learning that I've learn from this little storm that I am experiencing right now, don't be obvious if you want to catch the person itself. I know some of you wants to have a physical or mental revenge but I should tell you this nothing will happen if you attack. A mature man/woman attacks their attacker through prayer, Prayer can change everything. Always remember faith can move the mountain.Nothing more nothing less.

Life is like food, different flavour different pungency, and different cooking techniques. Sometimes life is sweet, sometimes sour, sometimes salty, sometimes spicy, and sometimes bitter. You really don't know how God will work on you. All I can say fight everything with bended knees because Satan fears Jesus and Jesus casts away every single thing that you are experiencing right now. Remember this you are not alone in your journey. Jesus is with you at all cost. Not just only that you guardian angel is with you and our Mother Mary. Always remember this life like no tomorrow but with discipline. We only live once and make the most of it. Be you and don't let anyone extinguish your light.

Until here then

Lost Paradise

It’s summer again and my shop is open for a patio service. I am here again serving young and free young professionals.  Very busy bar, people come and go. People are getting wasted. Well what can we do that’s life? Well not far weeks ago I met again a young lady sitting in my bar drinking some Apple Cider. Seems to be depressed and long lost; she didn’t know where she should go. Oh before I continue my story, let me introduce myself first; I am Petrucio and I am the owner of Bar Americio. I belong to generations of merchant ever since. Anyways let’s continue to my story. This is not my story so let me continue this love story that I am about to tell.

Like what I have told you that I met this young lady who is depressed and long lost. She is trying to soak herself up to apple cider. I had conversation with her and I just found out that she became into a messy relationship that just ended up into nothingness. I feel sorry for this young lady. Ah not again! I forgot to mention her name; by the way her name is Mystica. Mystica told me the whole story of her relationship and I empathize with her. After a couple of apple ciders, she decided to go home by herself. I tried following her just to make sure that she’s fine going home. Not long enough; she bumped in to a fine young man. Well dressed, ready to go for his evening shift in the hotel. As following this two on the farther side, this guy is a gentleman. He introduced himself as Antonio. Antonio is concerned on Mystica’s situation because she is so drunk. So instead of letting her go home; Antonio brought her to his workplace at Marriott and gave a complimentary room for her so that she can rest for the night and to sober up.

In the morning, I paid a visit in the hotel and check on Mystica’s condition. Good thing that Antonio is there and come with me in the room where she is sleeping. I gave money to Antonio to purchase food for this young lady. She finally woke up from a deep sleep and still she’s at lost. She asked me “Where am I? What I am doing here?” I told her “You were drunk as hell missy and you bump to a Hotel employee. So he brought you to his workplace and gave you a room to rest for the night”. She was so ashamed on what happened last night. Antonio arrived with big breakfast and gave it to Mystica. It was almost noon when I decided to leave the Hotel to check on my bar. I thanked Antonio for watching over Mystica for the night and go.

Leaving the two, Antonio and Mystica have their conversation inside the room:

“Hi Mystica, I am Antonio Melendrez, I am an employee here at Marriott. You bumped at me last night and you are totally lost and drunk. What’s going on?”

Mysitca was kind a hesitant to tell but…

“ Well to be honest with you I just broke up with my boyfriend for 3 years”

“Awww sorry to hear that, but what’s the whole idea of the breakup?”

“Well, I just found out that he is cheating on me from time to time. Not just only that, I just found out that he is expecting a baby to another woman in 3 months. So I just decided to leave him despite that I love him.”

“What an idiot guy! Such a bastard! How can he waste a beautiful young lady like you?”

Mystica became silent and blushing up

“It’s true you are beautiful and for sure deep side you are beautiful too”

“Thanks for the compliment. I think I have to go and go back to my apartment. I want to take some rest call my workplace that I cannot come today”

“I think before you go, call your workplace first to give them a heads up that you cannot come today because you are sick.”

Antonio gave his cell phone to her. Mystica dialled the number of her workplace and talk to her manager. Everything is fine and before going home

“Mystica, can I ask your number so that the next time that we have a free time we can hang out some time?”

“Sure! Here’s my number 647-897-9876”

“Alright, I’ll just message you tonight”

“Okay then”

Mystica left the premises already and head to her apartment at East York.

As what Antonio promise, he message Mystica so that she can save his number to her phone.

After a few days, Mystica received a message from Antonio, saying

“Hi Mystica, how’s going? Listen I am free this Friday, can we hang out so that we can get to know each other for a bit”

Mystica replied “Sure! I am free after 2:30 in the afternoon.”

“Okay that is set, let’s meet at Bar Americio where Petrucio is”

“Sure! I owe him a lot so that is set”

“Yes it is”

They both can’t wait to see each other and Friday just arrived and Mystica just done with her work and rushing to get to the bar. Almost 2:30 in the afternoon and Antonio was there waiting for her. Yours truly will be serving them.

“Hey Petrucio! How’s going? It’s been a while since I see you?”

“Yes it is Mystica. It’s been a while let say 3 months after you got drunk. Lol!|

“Well you are right. I am so sorry for that trouble and I should repay you for that kindness”

“You don’t have to. Just promote my bar and that’s fine with me.”

“Alright as you wish”

“Hi Antonio, for sure this is your first time in my bar?

“Yes it is! This is my first time.”

“Well I should say let me take care of everything and everything is on me, okay?”

“No we should pay you Petrucio”

“Nope, it will be on me okay and besides my bar is getting a lot of customers”

“Okay as you insist”

After a long conversation between the three of us, the individuals start their conversation about their lives.

“So Mystica where do you work? And it seems to be that you are just wearing casual clothing”

“Well I work in a catering company as their general help.”

“Nice, are they treating you well there”

“Well yes but sometimes rough days but yes that’s part of life”

“True to say”

“How about you Antonio, what is your job at Marriott?”

“well I am a Front Desk Manager there.”

“That’s nice, how long have you been working there?”

“Well next month will be my 5^th year in service”

“Wow! That’s a way long service for the company eh?!”

“Yes it is”

The food and drinks arrived to their table and everything is set. They continue their conversation and stories about their life. They haven’t notice the time and it’s almost 12mn. They have decided to call it a day and head to their respective homes.

As soon as Mystica arrived from her apartment, she charged her phone and took a shower. After taking a shower she checked her phone and saw that there was a message from Antonio…

“Hey Mystica, I just want to let you know that I had a great time with you tonight. Hope we can do it again some time. Have a good night.”

Mystica replied back and ended their conversation.

They keep seeing each other for a couple of months and friendship became stronger. Not far enough in the middle of the fall season Antonio felt something different from Mystica. Antonio fell in love with her.  Antonio decided to court Mystica in a discreet way. They still keep seeing each other and conversing over the phone. After long months of courting; finally Antonio got the sweet “Yes” of Mystica.

They started dating and as the time passes by their relationship grew stronger. 2 years have passed and they decided to reside in one roof.

As they reside in one roof, they already build their plans for their big event in the near future. One day, Mystica told to Antonio that she will be visiting her doctor to do a physical check up and he let Mystica do it.

As soon as Mystica arrived in the walk-in clinic, she was been called by her doctor.

“Hi doc, How’s going? It’s been awhile when I see you”

“Yes it is my dear, so how’s everything so far health wise?”

“That’s why I am here doc; I want to do some annual physical check up”

“Alright, let’s do it.”

They started the initial check up and gave Mystica requisitions for her blood works and other medical things that her doctor needs to be checked.

After a few weeks of her annual physical check up, Mystica received a phone call from her doctor saying that she needs to book an appointment ASAP with her doctor. She booked her appointment on the next day when she got the message from the clinic.

As soon as she arrived, she just waited for a short time a finally she was being received by her doctor to her office and...

“Mystica, I have to tell this, in your ultrasound the radiologist send a letter to me that there is something in your womb. It’s a cyst that is blocking to your fallopian tube. I will recommend you to an onco-obstetrician to check on the cyst that they found out. Everything else is normal. That’s the only thing that we have to monitor as of this moment.”

Mystica is still in shock when she learned that she has a cyst on her fallopian tube.

“Doc, are you serious with that findings?”

“That’s why I will refer you to my friend at Princess Margaret to check on you”

“Okay doc, how long will be the wait to get an appointment with your friend?”

“Well supposed to be it will take weeks but in your case I will definitely talk to her to put you in the priority list because I really want to monitor your health also.”

“Okay doc, I will wait for their call “

“Alright then I will see you soo and take care”

“You too doc”

After 4 days she got a call from the doctor offices stating that she already got an appointment this coming Friday and she agreed on the said time and date. Friday has arrived and she pays a visit to the doctor and...

“Hi Mysitca,  I am Dr. O’Malley and I will be attending on your case.”

“Hi Doc O’Malley!  How are you? And thanks for attending”

“Not a problem, it’s seems to be that the cyst that they saw in your fallopian tube is kind a big”

“Really doc?”

“Yes it is”

“So I will schedule you for an operation and remove the cyst, so that I can biopsy it okay”

“Okay doc”

Mystica went home with a heavy heart and as soon as she came back home. As soon as she arrived at home she called Antonio

“Antonio I need to talk to you”

“What is it hun?”

Mystica crack into tears

“Remember that one time that I pay a visit to my doctor right”

“Yes”

“After 2 weeks I got the results from her and they found a cyst in my fallopian tube”

Antonio was so shock that he could not believe it

“Did she recommend you to a specialist?”

“Yes hun! I am so fortunate that my doctor recommends me to her friend and I just came there.”

“So what did she told you?”

“I will be undergoing a day surgery to remove the cyst in my fallopian tube and she will biopsy it”

Antonio was still in shock and in fear but he is hiding it to Mystica

“Okay listen, I will accompany you to your surgery date. I will never leave you okay?”

“Okay hun”

After 2 weeks of waiting for the schedule of surgery

“Hello, May I speak to Mystica Wilson?”

“This is she”

“Hi, Dr. O’ Malley wants to see the pre-op clinic to to some testing if you are suitable for the operation”

“Okay, when is it?”

“It will be on the 16^th of July 2015, is that okay with you?”

“Yes it is fine with me? When will be the schedule for my operation? That will be 2 days after that pre-op check-up”

“Okay”

“So it’s set then. We will see you on the 16^th?”

“Yes ma’am”

After doing the pre-op everything went well and she is set for the operation; and after two days the surgery has been commenced and it became successful.

However after the biopsy...

“Good morning, this is Dr. O’Malley’s office may I speak with Mystica?”

“This is she”

“Listen my dear, Dr. O’Malley wants to see you ASAP for the results of your biopsy and she will talk to you personally”

“Okay then when it will be?”

“On 1^st of August”

“Okay ma’am. I’ll see you then”

As the time waiting for the results, she became weaker and thinner. Antonio got worried about Mystica’s health. Antonio called the walk in clinic where Mystica’s doctor located to book an appointment for her. Antonio accompanied her to the walk in clinic as soon as possible. As they reach the clinic, Dr. Watson received them to her office and attended Mystica.

“It seems to be we have to rush her to Princess Margaret”

“Why is it doc?

“We have to. I just got the results from Dr. O’Malley about her biopsy.”

“What is the result doc?”

“She has Cervical Cancer stage 4”

Antonio was so shock that he cannot take the result but he needs to snap out and to be strong for Mystica.

As they are rushing her to Princess Margaret; Dr. O’Malley is waiting for them and rush Mystica to the Operating Room to extract the affected area. Operation became successful but still Mystica is getting weak. They confined her to the hospital for weeks and Antonio decided to stay with her as he works hard to answer Mystica’s needs.

Months pass by and Mystica is trying to be strong for Antonio. Mystica has been discharge from the hospital but still weak and still on chemotherapy. Without any hesitation, Antonio asked Mystica if he can marry her and she said yes to Antonio. They fixed everything for their wedding and ask their friends for their help even their co-workers from their respective workplace.

In short time everything is all set and finally the most waited for just arrived. Everyone is happy and celebrating the day that most of the girls waiting for. As the music play inside St. Michael’s Cathedral everyone is crying because finally this couple are getting married after 2 years of waiting and residing under one roof. (I forgot to tell you that I am also invited that’s why I know everything okay. Anyways let’s go back to their story). Beautiful vows were made. Amazing promises where being read and the most waited of all the sweet kisses of the bride and the groom.

Everything was perfect until to the reception. Few days after the wedding, Mystica died on her sleep and Antonio accepted the fact that Mystica lost her battle with cancer.

Ah! What a sad ending. Two lovers who met in out of nowhere turned into lovers and turn into couple of forever. Well that’s life should I say. You really don’t know what will happen. Till next story again in my Bar; once again this is Petrucio your Bar Owner saying Life is such a wonderful gift from up above. You must treasure it and keep it. Have faith because He can move mountains.  

The End

PS:

This is an old writing of mine that is hidden on my parents laptop. Hope you enjoy the story 

 

What's up Ketchup!

Okay this is seriously weird title for my blog but anyways I cannot think of any title as of this moment. Honestly I really don't know what I am going to write right now. Oh well, my mind wants to do its purpose to think and my hands wants to do something worthwhile this Sunday afternoon. I know I missed a day but I catching up with this.

I know most of you right now at this moment saying that life is an unfair situation. I know I hear you people I know what you feel. It's hard to live in this world full of strangers, agony, and unknown situation that will happen to your life. Here's that thing, why I am writing this? I am writing this because I should really say that I am technically alone with my strange journey. I feel so lost this time and I don't know where to run this time. In this world people will really leave you. It's a lone journey way lone journey. Yes! I should say that despite that I feel alone in this world, My God who is my great lover is with me at all cost.

 But seriously sometimes its hard to find people who will really care for you. Why I am saying this? Let me tell you this, for the Nth time most of the people that I know will come and go. I know that I have few and hand pick friends but still I am scared to trust again because it breaks my heart. What do I learn from this mess, if its about love I have to be quiet at all cost. I have to say I need privacy. I know most people that surrounds me says that I do look inspired. Yes! I am inspired because God loads of love after a great storm came into my life. I know in my heart God is planning something greater for me. Something that it will be out of this world experience. Not just only that I know as this lone journey that I am facing with; I know he is preparing the Guy who will love me, protect me, and will know me for who really I am and accept me for what I am.

For the ladies out there, let me tell you this. DO NOT RUSH! Rushing will bring you into depression. Rushing will shatter your dream, your hopes and sometimes your dignity because some guise will play your heart and put you into nihilism. Always think that you are a gem that every guy should be taken good care of. Not just that you should worth fighting for. I am telling you this because I already experience it and because of that disaster, I've learn from that bad bad experience.

For the men out there, let us be straight to the point. Men remember this women are not toys. They are precious creation of God. They are like pearls from the oyster or I should say hard earned gem being dug by the miners. Please please please, do not be a playboy. Women's heart are so fragile. Once it is broken it will last long. Some girls (this is scary) will just kill themselves because of what you have done to them. Real men will stand up for their woman and tell to the world that she's the only girl that you love.

Ladies and gents if you are in a relationship, don't rush things. Always get to know each other first before committing to a long lasting relationship. Always take care of one another, defend one another, cherish one another, and respect one another.

Until here then

Love is an Open Door

Okay another day of posting and I should I admit that its almost a month that I am on my journey for my Mr. Right. Honestly and proud to say that I am happy from where I am right now.
I am happy because God is reassuring me that he is coming soon. I know some of you will say "Is she okay? She's not getting young." Honestly, I don't care how long should I wait the most important thing is that both sides are getting along with one another.

Honestly what do I realize in the past relationships that I have? I do realize that age doesn't matter. Age is only a number but the most important thing is the maturity of the person that are you dealing with. Why I am saying this? I am saying this because as you grow together in the relationship you have to accept the flaws of one another. Not just only that you have to accept for who really he or she is. I know most of you will say "Oh I like older guys/girls because they look mature enough to handle relationships." I should say that is the most common error. Let say there's a younger person that he/she wants to mingle with you but you sense that he/she is mature enough to handle a relationship. I should say you give it a go. There is nothing wrong having an open heart to other people that you will meet. Like what my title said Love is an open door; you don't have to close it because you don't know when you will meet your Mr or Ms Right. Keep going to your journey because you don't know when, where, or whatsoever instances that you will face with. Just keep going, pray pray pray! That's the most important thing. Another lesson that I learn... well I guess don't push to much if you are liking someone. I was there before and it ended up a disaster. So I am telling you this patience is a virtue. Be happy on what you have. Always live every single day of your life because God created you perfectly.

To my male audience: I just want to tell you this, you should not focus on the physical aspect of the female that you want to seek with. Always get to know them more than anything else. Do not believe in some rumors that is spreading out there. Some females are not good enough physically bit emotionally ready to settle down and handle a relationship. Be open to some girls who wants to know you. If you are in the relationship; protect it with valiance because that's the most noble thing to do. Accept for what they are because some of the girls wants an assurance and companion for life. Not just only that some females have insecurities in their life so be with them at all cost. Let them feel that they are beautiful.

To the female audience: Like what I have told you to the vise versa with the male. Learn to love what are and who really they are. Always give compliments to them because they also need affirmation from their special someone. Do not let also other people put your guy down. protect them and accept then for who really they are. If you are in a relationship like what I have said to the males, protect it with valiance. Always make sure to give compliments with one another.

In a strong and sweet relationship that will last forever, the number one thing that the most couples says is that always learn from each other because getting to know each other sometimes it will last a life time (if you are getting married). Not just only that always put God first in your Romantic Relationship because everything we do, God is watching over us. Always make sure that you put God first before anything else.

Until here then 

Mask of Profanity

Sometimes in life you really have to face loads of people. What I am talking about oh well I should say you have to encounter people that you have to sort likewise being a colleague, acquaintance, friend, close friend, or even a trustworthy friend. (I forgot to mention even a best friend.) Sometimes you really don't know how people will treat you or should I say treat you in front of other people and at the back you don't know what they are saying to you. In other words, nowadays you really don't know who is true to you. It's hard to find people that you will trust.

I know some people will say "You can trust me! I can be your trustworthy friend". But still you have to be careful to that phrase. Why I am saying this; because I just pass through it and currently experiencing it. I don't want to put details but all I can say is I trust way too much but in the end people that I know are attacking me back which is way too painful. Anyways what lesson did I learn from this journey? Well first thing, you should know your surrounding first. Why I am saying this, because you really need to have a sense of security nowadays because sometimes you want to tell something a friend but in the end there will be a betrayal and stabbing going on. Second thing, always get the person better. Don't just put your trust to anyone else. I am telling you there are a lot of two faces in this world. All I can say is this is a battle between you and you. This is world is full of great strangers, actors and entertainers who will make sure they will get your trust and after that some of them will act like a sorry for the terminology (I know some of my audience are from my community)
BS**T afterwards. I know some of us just want to be themselves. People there is nothing wrong for being you because that's you and that's your personality.

All I can say those people who are putting you down; they are just a poison to you. They are full of regrets in their lives so just brush them off. Ignore them because they just don't know what's their true purpose in life. For those people who know what's their purpose in life and happy in their life; I applaude you for being you. Keep shining like the stars that you can see up in the sky. If pain and anguish pass by fight it with bended knees because He will take good care of those bashers and destroyers that you have in your life. Don't fight back but if you want to fight back; fight back with happiness. Happiness with make those people down. Always be yourself no matter what. Always smile because He created you to be unique.

Until here then

Glance of Freedom

So yeah another entry and it should say I almost gave up but heck no I have to push myself. Anyways before anything else just an big announcement; 2 big announcement. 1st announcement I have already page on facebook just search for Journey Seeker please press like button and you can connect to me over there. I am always online on my page. 2nd announcement; I am on twitter also @journeyseeker31. Currently my twitter account is on private mode I will just add you guise. Both account will be updated every single day. As usual blog will be 3 times a week. 

Anyways done for announcement; and again I don't know what to write this time but thanks for my inspiration today. Thanks Lea Michele for awesome rendition of All American Rejects song. I don't want to put the title I might be attack by someone. Anyways, its good to be free at last from the pain. I know since the first entry It's all about letting go and seek for happiness that I am talking about but this time. It's all about freedom. I don't know why I am talking this about. Anyways sometimes you have to reclaim your freedom after your storm. It's good to be free because you have already found your peace and happiness with in you. 

I know your going to ask "How can we find that peace and happiness if you are suffering from pain?" The best advice that i can give you is be active. Make yourself busy because that's the best thing so far that you can do. Honestly for how many months I was in your position but I just chose to be with my friends; go out make myself busy. I will be honest when I am alone I do still cry but hey I had enough I have to be happy and shake everything off. I just told to myself "I don't have to dwell on it because God created me for who I am and what I am; and in His eyes I am beautiful". Time flies and I cannot imagine that I surpass everything. Honestly I am happy and proud to say that I have moved on; but still there's a little bit but I know in time it will be healed. 

Freedom is the best thing that you can give to yourself because you know your capacity as a person. You know that you are beautiful and handsome because God made you uniquely. If you encounter the person or people hurt you just show them your happiness. Happiness will made the loser(s) (I know this is a wrong terminology but sorry my mind is know so active that I cannot stop being mean at this moment). Show them your inner glow and let them know that this is me and I am happy to say that I have move on. Don't do any harm to them because remember what comes around goes around. Let God take care of it and enjoy the freedom that you have.

If your getting depress again listen to glee's song :) or any song that you can say I am free now ;) 

Until here then

Insomia

Okay I must admit this is my addiction right now and I should say my head is aching but who cares. I want to right and I want to do this entry. Blogging is where I can express my mind and where I can release all my stress in life; including pains (but not all of it I still need privacy in life) I should say. Anyways, why did I choose this title? I don’t know and I think I mess up my head again. I must say after several trial and errors in this passion I finally found my strength. I don’t know why I chose this style. I am so totally messed up I should say. Yes! I am writing but my body is dead tired from work. I don’t care my mind right now is restless.

I should say this mind of mine has full of thoughts that I do not know how to control it this time. I must admit that despite I am dead tired, focused, and happy; I should say I am just masking up on what’s inside of me. I am just a human. Human that can feel. Honest to God, he knows that my heart is still in shatter pieces. I still do not know what will be the next step. I do not know where to start but hey God is showing me the way. Honestly I am in love; in loved with our Lord God. Every single day pinapakilig nya ako (finally I already type a Filipino phrase in my blog.); but as that kilig moments and date nights with Him despite of my failures He is always reassuring me that my Man will come soon. What an amazing assurance of that eh?!

Sometimes in life you really don’t expect what will come. (Fine I must admit I am sleepy but still I don’t want to sleep yet I am still on a sweet land mode). You really have to wait and let everything fall into place like what other people said. Okay this is a continuation; still sleepy head. Oh well what you can do if you really did not sleep well. Anyways; in life you will really experience sleepless where you do not know what’s the cause of it or sometimes your mind is just way to much active or changing of your hormones as you grow old (Uhhggg... I hate that word but must admit I am getting there).

Honestly, I do not know how will I end this blog and I know this will be the shortest one because first thing this has to be written sleepless; second, my mind floats around and lastly I have mixed emotions right now. I should say, life is full of surprises; full of laughter, full of sadness, full of amazement and full of mystery. You really do not know what is really going on.

I should say, just sail with it. Life is like an ocean of eternity. There will be tidal waves calm waves or hurricane should I say. Just sail with it. Like what Enya’s song “Sail Away”. Mixed emotions, hang in there just cover it up with smile. Smile can change everything and brighten up people’s day.

Until here then

Eraser Please

Wow! I cannot imagine that I can go on to my fourth one. I guess I have to keep moving. As of this moment I do not know why I chose this title but I guess thanks to Mojofly. I know it’s funny that I am still writing in English but hey I have to consider my other audience out there; but seriously I miss my native tongue. Anyways I think I should continue on.

In life there are times that we commit errors and downturns and sometimes all we say “Dang it! I shouldn’t do that” but let’s face it mistakes are mistakes you cannot turn it back better yet consider it as a life lesson. Let’s say at work your boss told your mistakes accept it and learn from it because it’s the best lesson. Sometimes we tend to hurt ourselves when it becomes to personal mistakes. Seriously, some of us do it right? I know some of us dwell on it for a period of time but guess what? Sometimes you have to shake it off. 

Dwelling on those mistakes will just make you insane and out of your mind. Once again I know that I am not a perfect person to tell you this but its base on my experiences again.

Sometimes you tend to say to yourself “I am so stupid, why I should do that?” Honestly sometimes we are not aware of our actions. Let’s say you have problem with your anger. 

Yes! I am talking about our anger emotion. I admit that sometimes I am a short tempered person but instead of hurting others I tend to hurt myself. That’s how I handle my short tempered. Well I know other sometimes they will just blurt it out. (Sorry I am being picky when it becomes to this emotion...peace^+^v)

Honestly we can control our hot temperedness if we just breathe in and out. I know it will be difficult for some of us but you have to let it go again (okay for sure you are playing Frozen’s Let It Go song) likewise what some of my Filipino peeps says just take a deep breath, drink some water or juice (or wine or hard drinks should I say....ehehehe) and let be free. Smile even though it hurts you. I know for sure some of you will say it’s hard but I know you can do it. It’s better to control it than being out of control. If you are angry already go out and have a fresh air and look up and pray. If you really want to cry go for it there’s nothing wrong in crying. For sure some of my audience are guys and in their minds saying “Real men do not cry”. Can I say this to you guys, just shut up and let that emotions out. Crying is the best way to release all the tension that you have inside. In my own perspective real men do cry and that’s a great sign of their manliness for me.

Honestly, all the mistakes that we do in our lives will be a great teacher as we continue our journey. How can we grow maturely if we don’t learn from in right? Okay I forgot to talk about relationship again. Sometimes we tend to have mistakes in dealing relationships. Once again I am not perfect okay I am just basing it in my past journeys. Sometimes we tend to have misunderstanding with your friends and family. I know most of you will agree on it. We cannot avoid it. I know some of our relationships are broken because of a bad mistake that you have made. Fine I admit I just experienced it.

Sometimes mistakes like what I have said before hand, it’s a great teacher of life. No matter how we try to be perfect in life; we are always tend to stumble down. No one is perfect like yours truly but still I am learning from the journeys that I have. I cannot count how many journeys that I have as of this moment but I must admit from those journeys that I have rise up with I have learned tons of things. I learn to stand up and smile because I am created uniquely by God.

Remember those mistakes are not nurture to be depressing we must use it as a stepping stone to our next journey; likewise a booster to make us stronger, better, and well-willed person that other people will know. I know for sure you will question my photo soon. Why did I choose to have eraser? Well remember this, God is our author in our lives and if we make mistakes he will just erase it with love and compassion because he loves us so much.

Until here then.

PS: This is supposed to be posted yesterday but because of technical difficulties I have to post it today.

Natural Instincts

I should say this is not supposed to be my third entry today but my mind tells me to start another one. Oh well can i do sometimes human mind is not so stable like mine. I must admit I just woke up but hey fresh mind can make difference when it becomes to writing. Anyways let's all begin (shucks! I told to myself that I'll be writing in my native tounge but yeah my mind is shut in english language so yeah go head let me write it now.)

Well sometimes cannot avoid our animal instinct in our lives I should say our wild dreams in our lives. Admit it! Despite you are saying to yourselves that Nah! That is not true. I am contented on what I have today. You are just lying to yourself. Believe me! We cannot avoid it in our lives. I must admit that I am one of you. I have wild dreams for me and for my future even wilder than that; but sometimes I have to halt, ponder and calm myself out. (I should say unwind and knock myself out with nature). 

Yes! It is okay to have wild dreams like to have huge house, nice cars, beautiful wife (for the single men out there) or handsome husband (for  the single ladies like me out there) and so forth. Come to think about it do you think is it acheivable? I should say a quarter of it if we work smart not hard. Some of it well we have to think about it. I know you will agree with me that today's world is run by money. Everywhere we go money is involve. I get it! We need to pay bills, rentals (for some of us), insurance (car, personal and whatsoever), and other miscelleneous that we need (I forgot to mention food...sorry! ^+^v). Well that's the circle of life nowadays. 

When it becomes to dream family, we tend to think as much as we could so that we can acheive it. I should say can we just relax and calm ourselves out. Come to think of it, nowadays we are having a hard time to save money for our future. Admit it because some of us are unemployed, some of us are underemployed, and some of us that despite of their ample income or more than they need it will just go to bills and other things that they want to do. (I belong to this side before)  Remember this, before settling down we have to consider that we need to save save save. It's not a joke to have family. I have friends right now they have family where I reside before saying "We are having a hard time to raise our family because we didn't prepare for this." As I keep on hearing this I got sick and tire of giving them adivces (I am sorry but its your choice. You are grown up now and you chose that thing already. You have to face it and that's the mere fact.) 

I know some them are happy with their chosen path but once again I am telling you this. Raising a family is not a joke I am telling you. Yes! I am still single but still waiting for the moment of my life where everything is stable in me. Money wise I am not yet stable but working on it. Emotionally partly yes and no. In different aspect of my life; it is ready. Well for sure some of you will think that I am a crazy lady with crazy ideas but that's about life. Life is all about stragetizing. Always think ahead before making that desicion. I must admit sometimes I do fail making decisions in my life personally but I have to learn from it. Remember mistakes are the best teacher of our lives. 

So before we get crazy thinking of our wildest dreams in our lives. Think hundred folds or even more. Be stable at all cost make sure you have an ample money to save for your future, and lastly be smart enough to find the man or woman that you will spend the rest of your life. 

Until here then 

Love or Lie

Second entry to my blog! Oh well new addiction should I say or what? I don’t know probably I just miss blogging. I do admit that I do have tons of blog sites but I do always refresh and do another one. This time I will stick to this blog. Honestly, I like my blog site and finally I have guts to write what my heart is telling me and even my mind. I know writers all over the world will say “Always put your heart out when you are writing.” Yes! I do admit that sometimes I lost my passion in writing but this time but this time I will push my writing skills. I know some of my audience are my friends who know me personally and some of you don’t but hey writing is the best way of communication sometimes.

Anyways what I am writing right now; I don’t know why I chose this topic. I guess it’s about time to share what I know about this topic. Honestly I am neither a perfect adviser nor a doctor when it becomes to this topic. I know most of us give tons of advice to our friends and most of us don’t follow our own advice like yours truly. I admit it! I promise! I do give tons of advices but some of my advice I don’t follow it. Yeah bash me around! It’s fine with me. I got your point yada...yada! I don’t care as long as I can help I will do it.

Oh well sometimes experiencing love is the best thing; but there are various kinds of love there’s parental love, friendship love, work love, brotherly and sisterly love (that includes sibling love), but the best one that everyone wants to experience it the romantic love. Oh yeah! I know most of us are excited with this topic but hey you have to calm down and settle down. Romantic love is a very fragile and I should say sensitive topic but hey we have to face this stage. We are not wood to be peck by a wood pecker. We have feelings and emotions.

Romantic love according to Wikipedia (I know this site is not a perfect reference but anyways I will still use it for good purposes) is a relative term, but generally accepted as a definition that distinguishes moments and situations within intimate relationships to an individual as contributing to a significant relationship connection. The addition of drama to relationships of close, deep and strong love. I should say I will agree with this meaning but still it’s better to ask people who experience it let’s say your parents, or some of your close friends who experience it. Honestly I don’t read books about love because it’s better to learn from experience.

Romantic love for me is an attraction between a man and a woman. It’s something that you cannot understand sometimes. I know some of you will say “Hey I am in love” but hold you horses my friend! Before falling in love you must think hundred fold. Sometimes you have to reconsider a lot of stuff in life. Romantic love is a serious thing to tackle. Before entering in this kind of situation, you have to think “Am I ready for this? Am I willing to commit myself to this situation?” and so forth.

I do remember when I attended a courtship workshop during my last singles conference. Our speaker told us that you have to set your values in life. Yes I do agree on that because that’s the point of true romantic love. Before falling in love make sure you already set you values in life and much better if you really discern about your future marriage. Ladies much better if your man that you are praying for ask your parents to court you that is a great sign that he is a persuasive man. Always be on guard with your heart and pray as much as you can.

The good tip that I get from that workshop is to write you negotiables and non-negotiables in a paper and write a prayer underneath and put it in the bible verse that you like. Prayer is the perfect thing that you can do as you seek for your man that will spend your marriage forever. Most of you will ask “Why are you telling this to us? Why we have to pray and discern?” All I can say it’s being proven by my friends who are right now married with their man of their forever. Most of you will say there is no forever; can I say this to you people just shut up and do whatever I told you. There is forever if you just really pray and seek for that man or woman of your forever.

Honest to God I came from four epic failures of relationship and I’ve learned that I have to do what I have told you. Until now I am still seeking for my forever. I am discerning for my vocation in life. Marriage is a vocation i forgot to say that. Marriage is a great decision of your life because you are committing yourself to your man and that is for life. It’s much better to pray, discern and fast too. Always pray because God always hear our prayer.

What should I put more, ah! Do not rush in a relationship like what I have said before. Rushing makes your heart shatter. Gentlemen never ever give girls high hopes if you really don’t like them and tell them the truth if you don’t really like them in a nice way. Not letting them hanging around it will cause them too much pain and insanity. Ladies same with the boys, do not give them high hopes. If you don’t like them tell them instead of making them hanging.

Romantic Relationship should be a Christ centred relationship because putting God’s first will make everything in order. Honestly, in my personal preference, a man who’s putting God first in his life before our relationship is a great plus for me. Romantic Relationship also is not just about sex. Yes sex is good after marriage; but loving one another and respecting one another makes even your life happier and fruitful.

Honestly I don’t know what will I say about thing because it is up to you how you will tackle this kind of relationship but still DO NOT RUSH because ONLY FOOLS RUSH IN...okay!? and always remember be on guard. Don’t let men give you lies and in the end you will just cry.

Until here then